STEP 4: Your Child(ren)’s Safety: Children Who are Exposed to Abuse

The PDF version of Safety Planning contains all 8 steps  (224KB)

Children who are exposed to abuse may be experiencing abuse themselves.

Children often see and hear more than we think. They have probably seen or heard the violence, and likely it will have affected them.

The best thing your children can do for you during a violent episode is to get away and protect themselves. You can tell them ahead of time what to do if they see you being abused.

If they cannot leave the house, you can teach them to pick a safe, preferably with a lock and access to a telephone. It is important to you and to them that they get out of the room where the abuse is occurring as soon as possible.

You can tell them their most important job is to keep themselves safe. You will explain it using words that are simple and so that they will understand how important their safety is to you.

You will teach them how to call for help. If they cannot safely get to a telephone in your home, you will talk to them about using your neighbour’s phone or the nearest payphone. You can teach your children how to use the telephone, in case your partner takes them, to make a collect call to you and a friend/family member/advocate/someone you and they trust.

You will make sure they know their own name and address if they need help. If you live out of town, you will teach them how to identify the location, including landmarks, or subdivision and lot number.

You can rehearse what your children will say when they call for help.

You will pick a safe place to meet your children outside your home after the situation is safe for you and for them (so you can easily find each other). You will teach your children the safest route to the planned place of safety for them.

You can tell people who take care of your children which people have permission to pick up your children and that your partner does not have permission. The people you will inform about this are:  school, day care, babysitter/teacher, sport/activity leaders, and any others that are responsible for your child(ren’)s safety.

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